Married women do you fart or take a crap when the hubby is around?

I am a newlywed and the thought of farting or taking a crap anywhere within a couple feet of my man just makes me nervous:[ I mean a crap you can't help but sometimes you might laugh to hard and a fart will come shooting out. I mean he does it all the time but I wonder if I did it would it be as funny lol Plus they say that if you fart it stays with you for 40 minutes. My mom already told him the story about me being lactose intolerant. Well yea i drank a slim fast without thinking....Well later on it was snowing so we were driving really slow. I felt the urge coming along I told my dad to step on the gas so I could get home faster. As soon as we got home my mom had the garage door locked. I was banging and well I crapped my pants:[ Best of all my sister was standing behind me and my mom opened the door and was laughing so hard.Worst story ever and he still teases me but now anything concerning crap and fart scares the crap out of me (no pun intended) right out of me. He always asks me if I want some milk